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Classic Match Reports

3 weeks ago By Frank Barretta


Hey All,

Please note the annual football awards night is being organised for 14th April 2018 to take place at BBC in Balham between 7-9pm. Mark the date in your diary whether you've been involved in the match action or not and get yourself down for a one massive #COXA4Life mash up.

Match report from the one and only RC below...

Trying times... lost 2-1 :( Would love a match report though...

Never get a report so not exactly pending but won 2-1 despite having 9 men Saturday morning and leaning on the 4s winning spirit (and squad) to pull it together. Duly noted that some of the less travelled of the squad were a bit cba for the trip to heathrow tut tut - Derek Mensah's army pulled it off though!

Report pending but won 3-2 with 10 men. The man on the side got kitted up then duly sent off but the mighty prevail!


Won 4-2
Well well well.

Fantastic result

Unbelievable goals


Keeping our title hopes alive

That's what you, dear reader have to look forward to.

Confusing start as our 1.15 ko wasnt what the club had planned for...they thought it was we kicked off at 1pm, with COXA players still arriving. Not the best start, but The ol' tennis men had the same problem. So, playing on the ones pitch against the wind...

"Hey guys..let's try and keep tight at the back....we have conceded first in the last 2 games" ....yeahhhhhh....about that. 1-0 down early doors. 2-0 soon after, which meant 2 things. Clapham had conceded 2 goals for the first time since Christmas AND more importantly, Clapham would have to come from behind after being 2 down..something we haven't done this season.

A clattering of the Coxa goalkeeper (my ribs still hurting) and a few flared tempers created focus within the team.

Quick mention of the Rich Smith gaffe of the week.... It was a minor moment in the game when Rich Smith beat the defender to the ball...but in an attempt to hoik it over his head...ended up clearing the ball for them. Classic Rich.

A key moment in the game as J-bucks put through Smiddy Jr who rounded the keeper for a nea t finish to make it 2-1 at the half.

From that moment on, Clapham were in full control. Another Smiddy Jr goal made it 2-2.

Then the moment that destroyed the tennis players hearts...and any hope in this game. Step forward James. James Walker.

Picking up the ball 40 yards from goal. He strides forward and then thinks fuzz it. And shoots. The ball proceeds to fly like the bleeding golden snitch in harry potter. Next thing you see is the hairy mofo keeper trying to get across...and bang. He got it in the secret top bins that's hidden in the top bins.

As pearlers go, this is up there with one of the best ive seen...and I'm a keeper...ive seen a lot of goals.

Nahhhhhh...I'm kidding. He toe poked it and the wind caught it...keeper flapped. DONT GET COCKY KID. winky face

The comeback was complete and to add insult to injury we scored another with Smiddy Sr volleying a lovely flick on for 4-2.

Coxa defence stepped up and played a great line for the whole second half. We couldn't be stopped. Not even the ref could stop SOME of us.

It is at this point that I will point out that our ref today was a lady, no taller than a hobbit and...if I had to guess the age of 50+.

Its also time to award my Jay Buckerfield moment of the week.

Cue Andy Howell. Solid all game. A cross, headed away by Coxa fell to a tennis players feet. Andy desperate to close the ball down...and would not be stopped managed to barge into the ref to get to his man. The ref fell flat on her and pencil flew out her top pocket onto the floor. Bless, she tried to carry on, but couldn't so whilst flat on her back blew her whistle to stop play.

Absolute scenes as it took 2 players to get her back on her feet.

Smiddy Jr came close with a free kick that was saved by the keeps.

Final minute and the Coxa defence fell asleep...leaving the tennis player through on goal to make a game of injury time. However Richard Gandalf Critchlow said "you shall not pass" (apart from the 2 times that you did) and saved the one on one.

As if I haven't mentioned him enough, Smiddy Jr worked so hard...his socks fell down and played the last 10 minutes looking like Steve Claridge (or jack grealish...for you young'uns)

Game over. Claphams slow starting caused some trouble but ended up pulling through. Tougher tests lie ahead.

Obvs Smiddy jr won the man of match, but pleased with how everyone rallied after we were shite the first half.

Sometimes honesty hurts...but we are only going to get better and improve from it, as long as we do it constructively.

We say farewell to chunderbuss Connor, who moves up north. Loved having you around, but being sick behind the co-op this morning...coming out of the nose and mouth...then going into the shop and buying grapes was a personal highlight.

Dang it...did no swears today. ;-)

Updated 15:15 - 2 Mar 2018 by Frank Barretta

Where next?

The Somme - 8th, 9th & 10th June 2018 UPDATE Confirmed details are as follows.
COXA match reports + Notice! A further Public Service Announcement on behalf of the Club


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Sun 2 Nov
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